In order to have a new you for a new year we have to start taking care of ourselves. So first up went to the doctor for my knee so I can start exercising and losing weight. That did not work so well when I did not see a doctor but a physician's assistant and he was a prick. I wish I could tape these conversations with "doctors" because it would be hopeless. We go to doctors to have them explain our pain and to be able to empathize if they cannot do that then what the hell are you doing in the medical field period. To come to the point they didn't do anything, and now I am going to another doctor for a second opinion because if it hurts when I walk and I cannot do anything to lose weight then I am screwed.
So far my new you is going no where and I am losing steam in the whole process. I want to be healthier not the skinny people in the magazines or in pictures. I want to be happy however I don't know if I am looking at it correctly. I mean I see the way I looked before and I am like I wasn't bad looking and yet I don't participate because of my weight. What do you do?
Other things are going well I think I am going to school which is weird. I want to do something in my life like own a cafe or diner and have my friends and family involved. I want a homey atmosphere of happiness. My husband is not at all supportive and he is so pessimistic. I need support for my dreams and I have only my friends and family. When I say family I mean my children and mother in law. I do not think my sister would be supportive because it is a dog eat dog world. I am ok with that truthfully but in a way it still hurts.
I want to be more positive. That is my destination for this year and I am fully committed to accomplishing that. I do not want goals or resolutions I just want to make plans and stick to it. I do not want to say it is January and you need to state what your going to do for the year. I should have done it through out the year. I think the first thing is admitting I am lost, confused and need direction. No matter how much I have on my plate it comes back to feeling a purpose.
Well until next time... Eat like your going to starve. Act like there is no more time. Play like there will be no more games left.
No comments:
Post a Comment