When to be new?

So since this is a new me and I didn't know I needed to be new I figured I would start off with the many things I wish was new about me but isn't.

I still want to lose weight but that isn't happening.
I still want to be someone more in a professional way but not.
I still want to be someone that my kids, husband and friends can be proud of but am not.
I still want to be the best wife, mother and friend on the planet but progress is still slow.

I am the best I can be for right now.
I am proud to be a mother, wife and friend.
I am happy with what I acheived so far in my weight.

Can any of these things be considered new? Does any of these things make a difference to others? I still do not know.

I love to read.
I am harsh and sarcastic.
I am cruel and hostile.
I am kind and generous.
I am understanding.

These things describe the person I am, can be and have been. I wonder why many people lie to cover up what they are. I believe that people have many sides because it is needed. I still can change but I do not want to be new. Can I still change and be considered new or does someone need to change everything in order to be new and improved? Hmmm what to ponder first? Well when I know you will know.